


how long nothing lasts

by YesIsAWorld



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesIsAWorld/pseuds/YesIsAWorld
Summary: On the way to their friends’ wedding, Louis thinks about the state of his relationship with Harry.





	how long nothing lasts

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as part of an ongoing challenge. We each select random numbers and are given a specific emotion from the book 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names. To read the other fics written in this challenge, [click here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/ShortFic_Challenge_For_Which_There_Is_No_Name/works), or you can find the masterpost [on tumblr](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/159679804243/1000-feelings-for-which-there-are-no-names-prompt).
> 
> My prompt was 38: The fear of small furry animals.
> 
> Thank you to my group chats for reassuring me that going more conceptual with this was okay, even if I did end up including a small furry animal in the end. 
> 
> And I cannot thank [gettingaphdinlarry](http://gettingaphdinlarry.tumblr.com) enough for another superb beta job. I always learn something from your comments and your suggestions always elevate my work into something better than I imagined and I love working with you.
> 
>  
> 
> **Please do not post this fic or any of my other fics on any other websites. I'm not currently allowing translations either. Thank you for respecting my wishes.**

Louis tilted his head back against the headrest and watched as the street lights strobed yellow along the dark shoulder. The radio was on some station he never would have picked if he was alone in the car but the volume was low enough that only an occasional strain of notes could be heard above the rumble of the road. His jaw ached and a tension headache tickled the corners of his brain. 

“How was work today?” Harry’s voice was gruff with disuse.

Louis flopped his head to the other side of the headrest and pulled a knee up to his chest, linking his arms around his leg. 

“Huh?” Louis asked, even though he heard Harry. 

Harry quickly took his eyes off the road, then went back to hands at nine-and-three, eyes ahead—the perfect driver. 

“Your shoes.” 

It was a oft fought argument—the car was old when they got it, not like it was brand new, spotless fabric—but Louis wasn’t up for it. He untied his sneaker and pried it off his foot, then went right back to the same position. He was so tired. 

“How was work today?” Harry repeated. 

“Fine.” He racked his brain for something that Harry might find interesting. “We got the greenlight to move ahead with casting for that one show. The network finally nailed down the concept they want to move ahead with.”

“Awesome. That’s great news. Took them long enough to decide.” Harry fiddled with the tiny knobs that adjusted the heat. “Will you get to showrun?”

“I told you, I don’t know. Guess I’ll get to do it when they think I’m ready.”

“You’re going to do great once they finally give you a chance.”

“If. If they give me a chance.”

Harry knuckles started to turn white from gripping the steering wheel. “They’d be stupid not to.”

As many times as Louis explained it, Harry refused to grasp the concept of putting in his dues, working his way up the ladder, that he was still years away from his dream job. Louis wondered, not for the first time, if Harry would still be around when it became a reality. 

He reached up and flipped down the sun visor. It made a satisfying smack when he flipped it back up. 

“Don’t break it.”

“It’s not going to break.” Louis opened the glove compartment then closed it again. “Where are our roadtrip mixes? Could really go for Thanksgiving 2013. That one is full of bangers.”

“Oh.” Harry tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “I think I took them out last time I cleaned the car. Check the door? If the CD case-thingie isn’t there in the side then it’s probably still at home.”

Louis looked down into the darkness. “It’s not there.”

“Okay. You can plug in my phone. Or yours. Put on whatever you want.”

It wasn’t the same. But Louis wasn’t going to get into it. He’d just blame Harry for forgetting it even though it was always Louis’ favorite part of a road trip. Then Harry would blame Louis for always leaving the car such a mess that he needed to clean it out to begin with. 

“How much longer?” Louis asked. 

“Like, at least an hour,” Harry said. 

Louis looked out the window again, at the trees whizzing by. 

“It’s weird, right?” Harry said after some time. 

“What is?”

“That Niall and Shawn are getting married.”

“Um…” Louis had never once considered that it was weird. “No? They’re, like, disgustingly in love. I feel like if anyone is going to make it it’s them.”

Harry clucked his tongue. It was one of his habits that drove Louis crazy recently, but he let it go without saying anything. He was working on not nagging Harry. It was somewhat successful. A clucking tongue wasn’t going to kill him. 

“Nevermind.”

“Why?” Louis loved to pick at scabs. “What do you mean?”

“We introduced them.”

Louis remembered that first double date. He had been so in love with Harry that his heart felt like it was going to burst sometimes. They had eaten at their favorite hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant and between the four of them they drank far too much red wine and sat scrunched at the tiny table until the waiter apologized because they were closing. Walking out into the cold night air, Niall and Shawn had turned one way, arms wrapped around each other, and Louis and Harry had walked the other way. The walk back to Harry’s had taken about twice as long as it should’ve, since they kept making out at street corners and under construction scaffolding and around the corner from their destination. They had made love for hours that night; steaming up the window in the converted third bedroom of that tiny apartment, breathing in each other’s heat, merging their sweat and spit and come with their skin. Niall and Shawn had hit it off too, were inseparable since that night. 

“Was a fun night,” Louis said. 

The longer they were on the road the more the traffic started to thin. He craned his neck to see if he could catch the moon, but it was hiding or out of his sight. He untied his other shoe and brought both legs up to the seat, tucked side by side. 

“That apartment was such a shithole.” Harry said. 

“Yeah,” Louis agreed. “It really was. What do you think ever happened to… What’s her name?”

A pickup truck sped past; the engine roared and Louis studied its red lights weaving through the cars ahead. “Where’s the fucking fire?” Harry muttered as he checked his rearview. 

“I can’t believe I can’t remember her name. Margarite! Do you remember her?”

Harry let out a low whistle. “How could I forget?”

“You think she’s still there? Hotboxing in her bathroom and trying to sell overpriced pot brownies?”

“You laugh now, but there were so many nights when having her next door came in handy.”

One night in particular came to mind. “The night of the—”

“With that huge dude!”

“I really wasn't sure he was going to let us leave.”

Harry turned and gave Louis the first genuine smile of the night. “Thank god he never found out where we lived. Last thing we needed was a threesome with him.”

“Had a lot of fun in that place.”

The conversation ended with an agreeable hum from Harry. Harry took his attention back to the road laid out in front of them and Louis watched as the interstate signs flew by. He got lost in the monotony of it; watching the countdown as towns and perpendicular highways got closer and closer until they drove past, another town and another highway getting closer and closer. 

Harry eventually broke the silence. “Still, it's kind of soon, dontcha think?”

“Hmm?”

“For them to get married.”

Louis did some quick math. “I don’t know, it’s been what, at least three years. That’s pretty standard, yeah?”

“I guess.”

Louis held his breath as a truck rumbled by, inches from their car. No matter how many trucks he’d passed in his lifetime, or how many trucks had passed him, he still got nervous at the hulking steel being so close. He slowly exhaled while reading the 1-800 number to report the truck driver’s driving skills to corporate and wondered what kind of person would pick up their phone and make that call. Was there a bank of phone operators waiting for snitches or a voice mailbox that no one ever checked?

Harry tapped out a rhythm on the steering wheel. With the truck past, he relaxed a bit, the ‘nine’ hand still in place, the ‘three’ hand balled in a loose fist on the center console. “I think we’re going to get a lot of questions this weekend.”

“About what?”

“Us.” Out of his peripheral vision, Louis saw Harry glance over quickly. “Our plans.”

Louis’ heart thudded heavily in his chest. “None of their business, is it?” Maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe all their friends would leave them alone, it’d been years, they should be used to LouisandHarry doing their own thing.

“No, but that’s not… we can’t just say that.”

Louis reached up and scraped his nails against the fabric next to the sunroof. The white noise of the road passing under them was soothing and familiar and Louis wondered if they could stay in this car forever, keep on driving, forgetting the rest of the world existed in those other towns that they kept passing.

“It’s a nice night, can we open the…” Louis pointed above him. 

Harry sighed, loud and irritated. “Sure, whatever. But also, can we actually talk about this?”

Louis patted the general area of the button until his finger made contact with the smooth plastic. “Yeah, sure. Let’s talk about it.” A chill ran down his spine when the first gust of cold air blew down. The air smelled faintly of bonfire. The sunroof was a terrible idea; Louis hugged his legs tighter to his torso and gulped in as much fresh air as his lungs could handle. 

“I don’t know what to tell everybody,” Harry said. 

“And you think I do?” There was a time when this was easier. When their future was clear. When they weren’t in a rush to get married but knew it’d happen someday. A nice pat answer for anyone curious. Louis supposed that was still true, but there was less pep in his mind when he said it. His internal voice was betraying him. “Should we say the same thing as always? ‘It’ll happen eventually.’”

“Do you—is that still what you want?” Harry asked. 

“What? Yeah.” Louis looked over and couldn’t read the expression on Harry’s face. He wondered how long that had been the case. “Why? Do you not?”

The silence was deafening and for a brief panicky moment Louis thought that Harry was about to break up with him, on a road trip, on their way to their friend’s wedding. Friends they had set up. 

“No, ’course I do.”

Louis laughed, a jagged thing that was too high and too breathy. “Yeah, of course. Cool. Good.”

“We need gas,” Harry said. “I’ll pull off at the next exit.”

“Cool. I have to pee.” Louis was looking forward to parking the car, getting out, and stretching. 

“You should’ve said something.”

Louis shrugged. He would’ve once he really needed to go. “I hope the hotel is nice. It’s been a while, since we got out of the city like this.” The trip hadn’t been that long but he was getting itchy with the need to move. He’d probably just take a hot shower and fall into bed, but still. They should’ve gone with Harry’s suggestion and taken half days at work. He’ll have to admit he was wrong, later. 

“Shawn was in charge of this part, so I’m pretty sure it’ll be amazing. Worth the drive, for sure.”

“Oh, hey,” Louis said, realizing he never asked. “How was your day?”

“Fine. Good. Same old bullshit. Finished up that website redesign and then sat around and listened to our clients argue about the changes. Good times.”

Louis snorted. “Another day in paradise.”

“Dontcha know it.”

Harry eased the car off the highway and onto the exit ramp. The rhythmic _ka-thump_ of the road cut away and they waited patiently at the red light at the end of the exit. 

Louis slipped his shoes back on as Harry pulled into the first service station they saw and parked at the end of a row of pumps. “Want anything from inside?” Louis asked as he shut the door. 

Harry got out and swiped his card in the reader. “Nah, I’m good thanks.”

As the attendant passed over the bathroom key, Louis gave a nod of thanks. He jogged back outside and around the corner to the men’s room. It was dingy and gross, as expected, and he held a deep breath to try and mitigate the smell. He was mid-piss, staring at the grey wall in front of him, when he heard a scratching near his feet. He looked down and froze at the sight of a scurrying brown mouse. He didn’t want to step on it, so he waited, heart in his throat, for it to go back to where it came from so he could wash his hands and get the fuck out of the bathroom. 

Once he was back outside he took a giant breath of fresh air. He dropped the key back off at the register, letting the guy know that they had a rodent problem, and met Harry back at the car. Harry was finishing up, waiting for the receipt to print out. He put the receipt and his card back into his wallet in their respective places, and restarted the car. 

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr post](http://louandhazaf.tumblr.com/post/167522378128/title-how-long-nothing-lasts-author-yesisaworld)


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